I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize