I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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