SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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