we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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