doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i already hear my dad disowning me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
