I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
