i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
