matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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