one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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