Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
