i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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