How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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