Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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