found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
