That's when you crack a 10am beer
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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