Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
