Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
