Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
