She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
what is it with giant penises always finding me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
