He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
