I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
