you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
