i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
