It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
