If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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