White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
