Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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