she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When are your genitals available?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
