I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
