i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
