I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
