you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
