people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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