Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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