Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
