did you get engaged???
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
