I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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