I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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