The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize