I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
