I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I am morally bankrupt
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Randomize