In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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