I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
