The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
