Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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