I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
