so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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