careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
