The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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