I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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