Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize