Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
