i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
