Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i've created a new STD.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
