Plan B is the new Plan A
i dont even know how to be here
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
