Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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