try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
