the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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