Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I believe in your delicious
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
