i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize