What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Never joke about your clitoris.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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